Where Sida becomes a student again and tries to resist despair

You may ask: since Sida is in medicine, which she's wanted for a long time, why does she need to despair?

I am in my 2nd week of medicine, and they (the educators, that is) say that these two weeks are the easiest, it gets tougher from here.

There is no easy way to express the plight I'm in. I can only give an example. Last week, in my Problem-Based-Learning group (a sort of study group, PBL for short), someone mentioned baroreceptors and chemoreceptors and everyone knew exactly what they were. I was the only one who had never heard of them before. The everything goes so fast, everything just swishes around in my brain in some sort of incoherent soup. And people assume that I'd know some things since I did indeed have science-health background. (But it's radiography! It's like photography with physics!)

But I'm resisting despair, mainly because I'm sure if I work stubbornly at it the way I work stubbornly at everything, it will work out. I am taking a rest from study, it is 4pm, and I have been in the library for 3 hours. The incoherent soup is (somewhat) less incoherent and certainly less daunting. Besides, I do like learning and I find the human body interesting, so if I get over the fact that everyone else seems to know more than me, I may actually enjoy myself. (This really sound like I have a pride issue doesn't it? Hm, perhaps I do...)

I never did consider my income to be large or even significant, but now I do feel it. Going from working full-time, to working one Saturday every 3 weeks (3 hours over 3 weeks) does definately put a strain on my finances. But I did get a call from the rival company today, so I may get some more work.

Um. Surprisingly, I have run out of things to complain about. Except that the air-con here in the library is really really breezy, it's freezing in here.

I can feel the library (and the abundance of medical students around me) doing me mental damage. I think I will go home now.