Mint tea + lemon tea = EEEWWWW

Let me start from the beginning. Today, after church, I was approached by a friend who said that he needed a lift home. Sure, I said, I just need to go buy some tea (vital study-aid). So I run off to Woolworths.

Milk? Where do they keep the milk? Yogurt, I suppose I got to buy the yogurt too... Where on earth is the tea I usually buy? Why are there all these different types? Cookies-and-cream tea? Interesing... Lemon Twist? That sounds good. Oh, there it is, good old Lipton Green tea, packet of 50.

So, being acutely aware that someone is waiting for me, I grab what I see and run back to church to find that this friend's brother can drive him home after all. Ok, that's fine.

Until about 5 minutes ago, when I made some tea to keep myself awake (or to let my mind fool my body). I knew as soon as I opened the packet that it didn't smell right. Crap! It's green MINT tea! I can still remember the last time I had mint tea, it was at bible study and it was so gross the host poured it all out. And I bought 50 bags of it. Acutely aware that this tea cost money, and that money comes from working like a trained monkey every Saturday, I decided to make it anyway. Can't be that bad, right?

So here I am, watching my tea cool, smelling its tooth-paste-like odour. Then I had a flash of what I thought at the time was genius. The mint can be neutralised if I add something to it, right? Something with a stronger flavour. The first thing I saw as I looked around my desk was a packet of jelly beans. Don't be stupid, no one puts jelly beans in their tea. Then I saw the Lemon Twist, which I also bought...

Mint + lemon. How to describe it? In colour and texture, it is like any other tea. The smell is also not unique - it is the smell that wavers around the elderly and very ill patients in hospitals. The taste... sour, like the taste you would get if you ate an under-ripe berry. It resembles neither lemon, nor mint, nor tea, but seems to be an entirely new and newly offensive flavour. There is, inevitably, the after-taste of toothpaste. I had not disguised the toothpaste flavour, just added another dimension to it.

In fascination, ever the scientist, I drank the lot, wondering its effects on my body. Of course, it's just tea, I'm being fanciful, but you'd be too if you could smell and taste the thing.

Usually when I drink tea, my room smells like it, and it usually smells quite good... jasmine, or lemon, or just plain green tea. Today, my room smells like bed-ridden old people.

If there is one thing to be gained, this concoction will certainly wake me up. The question lies... what does one do with the other 49 tea bags?