Snippits from a 14 year old

I found my diary that I kept when I was 14. I read it, and did NOT stop cringing. Was I EVER like that? I must have - not only did I write it, I vaguely remember writing it too. I've always thought that I didn't go through the teenage angst period, but reading my old diary it seems like I am any one of those crazy pimply teens. Here are some HILARIOUS snippets - I honestly don't remember being this way.

First page of diary:

"I got a new diary. Mum and Dad's buying things we need before the GST starts on the 1st July." - 29 June 2000. (Ha! I bet THAT can go on a lifecourse grid!)

"Mr Jensen says I might get a maths award at the end of the year. That would be cool, I can use it in job applications and such." - 29 June 2000. (At the age of 13 and a half)

"They won't let me go with Kate and Amy. They said they'll let me go if I was a boy. They say I'm only 13. That's bloody bull crap." - 20 July 2000 (HAHA, I certainly don't remember this!)

"You know, I'm not doing all this work for nothing. I'm sacrificing hours and hours for study to get a good career and earn a good living and have lots of friends. If you're not everything I ever wanted to be, then GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER" - August 2000, a letter that I wrote to my future self. (Oh, Miss 13 year old Sida - YOU think YOU're doing so much work? Boy, are you in for a shock)

"Maybe I should take up anorexia... My legs are like tree trunks and my arms are like telegraph poles. I wish I'd be around 40kgs. I wish I was taller. I'm mega depressed.... I will write again later, if I havn't jumped under a bus by then." - 17th January 2001 (That's funny, cos I have never seen a telegraph pole in my life. My legs are STILL like tree trunks. But when did I ever care so much?)

Every page is filled with this sort of stuff. It's crazy. I think I will stop embarrassing myself now... but I hope this provided you with as much amusement as it did me.

More updates

Havn't posted for a while. Now that I have handed in that horrific assignment (I don't think I blogged about that... and I don't think I want to), life has settled back to its previous norm (well, as normal as it ever gets for me anyway). I never realised that the reproductive system was so boring. All those hormones just to produce a baby. After the jokes were made about the tough little "swimmers" making the "torturous journey" up the "hostile terrain" to the egg, it was really rather dull. This week was genetics - accompanied by the usual jokes about the redundancy of the Y chromosome. (The joke is making me weary, so if you don't know, don't ask.)

Last week (or was it the week before? So hazy these days), my bible study leader said that as an "extra challenge", he is thinking that I would make a great leader (in our church community, presumably) and he is praying that "one day we can entrust people under your care." I know what you are thinking. How is him praying for me to become a leader present a challenge to ME? I don't know - this guy speaks in code sometimes, and it is a code I havn't cracked yet...

You can imagine, this came as a big shock for me - those who know me would undoubtedly say that I have as much leadership qualities as an ant. Without its little feeler thingies. Aren't leaders usually knowledgeable/wiser/more experienced/better organised/more fearless? I possess none of these characteristics. However, when I made this clear, he indicated (with some biblical backup) that none of these were crucial characteristics of a leader in Christ. As a final appeal, I said: "but you know me!" to which he replied: "Yes, and that is why I think you would make an awesome leader". So, what does a leader in Christ need? What ever it is, he seems to think I've got, and I didn't want to ask in case it seemed like I was seeking a compliment.

So this triggered me to go search for clues in the bible, and I found that the leaders of God's people varied greatly in abilities - the only thing they seemed to have in common was their faith and obedience. Could it be that this was the only thing that was required? No other prerequisites? It seemed to make sense - since the Lord Almighty is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and would obviously provide the best on-the-job training possible - such that anything that I was not equipped with, He will give it to me, so that I can do His work. This sounded good but it had two flaws - one is that I came up with this myself so its probably wrong, and the other is that if it were that easy surely we'd have more leaders than followers?

Asking my bible study leader was now out of the question - he told me "No pressure - we will see what happens next - don't worry too much about it". (Now is it just me or is that a typical guy thing to say?) So I sought out another friend from a different church, who basically told me that I was on the right track and the reason why there were more followers than leaders is because not everyone responds to God's call. Interesting. He said: "God doesn't call the qualified - He qualifies those He calls." (Actually I'm not sure if that is what he said - it sounded a lot more eloquent than what I quoted but the meaning is there.) If He called me to take on a certain role, then He will equip me with what I need to perform that role. So I guess after this I was a bit comforted and assured. And I realised that Christian leaders are really Christian servants (actually I've always known this but now I appreciate what that actually means) - and although I have doubts about my abilities as a leader, I am willing to be a servant.

So anyway, that concludes my little spiel. My bible study leader told me not to worry about it. I wonder if he knows how hard that is. He is starting up a weekly group next month... I don't know what is going to happen, but there is nothing I can do but pray and wait. Relax, Sida. It can't be that bad, right?

My very first exam in my medical career...

I passed. But only just passed.

Very relieved... but I passed with such a small margin that I am highly ashamed.

Oh well. I'm just hoping that the School doesn't single me out as one of those who "needs a bit of help". That would be a bit embarrassing.

Sigh... back to work...