Ophthalmology and ENT

Well, I just finished my brief spell in the specialties of Ophthalmology (the study of the eye) and ENT (Ear Nose Throat, or Otolaryngology to the Americans). Two weeks in each. The word "Specialty" I suppose implies that it is special, and indeed it was.

Ophthalmology was interesting, in its own strange way. I spent the first week feeling like everyone was literally talking in a different language... The complexity of the subject can be appreciated simply by the fact that, in any textbook of ophthalmology aimed at primary carers and medical students, there are only a few conditions that does not carry the recommendation: "Refer to ophthalmologist urgently".

ENT, on the other hand... was... well, let's simply say, special. Let's look at it this way. When I looked up, in a textbook, a chapter called "ENT emergencies", the first one was "epistaxis", or nose bleed. Now, I am aware that very severe nose bleeds can be a big deal, but it really was a bit of an anticlimax. Considering ophthalmology had in its list of emergencies such impressive-sounding things as "sudden loss of vision", "sudden onset diplopia" and the like... a nose bleed really seems sort of humourous. And so it was for the rest of the specialty. ENT is indeed a complex subject (in its own simple sort of way), and interesting, in small-ish doses. But sitting in the ENT clinic listening to complaints of ear infections and runny noses just seems oddly humourous. It is no defect of the specialty or of the department that lead me to feel rather bored, I am entirely convinced it is due to my own ineptitude toward anything surgical. As the registrar kindly said: "You did a good job feigning interest for two weeks".

I do feel a bit apologetic for this, because a medical student could not have asked for better clinical teachers. As such, I have no taste for surgery, just as a person may have no business sense or no ear for music.

Anyway, without further ado, and continuing the tradition of previous terms, here are some "quotable quotes" of Ophthalmology and ENT.

By the way, if you are wondering why I am blogging so much this week... it's because I have finished my ENT assignment early, and have been "let off the hook" from attending a few clinics and surgeries... and thus with a reasonable amount of time on my hands. Next week I will be in Critical Care, and possibly not so care-free.

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Ophthalmology Registrar: "Dr K is good with eyes." (I giggled at this... he's an ophthalmologist, of course he is good with eyes! On the other hand, I suppose it is the highest praise you can give to a doctor... to be simply good at what he is supposed to be doing.)

Ophthalmology Registrar: "Why go watch the cataract surgery? You could go to the library and watch a cataract surgery on Youtube, and you get a running commentary on it. Don't bother, it's boring."

Ophthalmology Registrar: "Do you know anything about the retinal changes in macula degeneration... no, let's simplify this. Do you know anything about macula degeneration? Who am I kidding, you're a med student. You wouldn't know anything. Let me explain."

Ophthalmology Registrar: "Have you considered specialising in Ophthalmology, Sida?"
Sida: "No."
Ophthalmology Registrar: "That was rather emphatic."
Sida: "Oh... sorry."

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ENT registrar: "This patient presented with a severe case of runny nose."

ENT registrar: "Most salivary gland tumours arise from the parotid gland. Do you know where the opening of this salivary gland is?"
Sida: "It makes saliva... so in the mouth."

ENT consultant: "I'm a microsurgeon and I can't type."

ENT consultant: "Where does the rash in Ramsay-Hunt syndrome appear?"
Sida: "Um... we are in the Ear Nose Throat department... so I'm going to guess the ear, nose, and throat?"
ENT: "Amazingly you are right, except it doesn't appear in the nose."

Med student: "So why are you cutting little squares?"
ENT consultant: "Because little circles are too hard to cut."

Surgeon: "There appears to be quite a bit of bleeding."
Anaethetist: "Well that is because you keep poking it with your sharp instrument! I can promise you if you stop poking it it will stop bleeding."

Surgeon: "We will be finishing early today because our last patient cancelled the surgery."
Sida: "What a shame."
Passing nurse: "Your smile gives you away."
Sida: "I don't know what you are talking about..."

(And this following one doesn't really have much to do with either specialty...)
Med student: "Ooo, what's that book you are reading?"
Sida (shows her the cover): "The Confessions of St Augustine."
Med student: "Sounds interesting. Who wrote it?"

Sida is evil

Today, the registrar asked me to grab some pathology containers to put blood samples in. I didn't know which one to get, so I grabbed all of them...

He only needed two, so I was left with 4 empty pathology tubes.

I was too lazy to take them back to the storage room... so I just put them in my pocket.

They went from my pocket to my bag, from my bag to my table... and now, they are in my fridge.

"Sida, why are they in your fridge?" I hear my dear readers ask.

Well, you see... as I was standing there in theatre, feeling tired and dreadfully bored, it occurred to me that I could have a lot of fun with these containers. Imagine my dear mother's surprise and disgust when she opens the fridge and sees some pathology containers - all containing something yellow, purulent, and offensively mysterious. The thought was too sweet to dismiss, and I couldn't wait to get home.

Unfortunately my 11 year old brother was home when I got home too, so I had to let him in on the secret... but he promises to be a good sport.

In one tube (the EDTA tube), I put a mixture of Apple-Guava juice, cooking oil, and a drop of soy sauce. The oil separated nicely from the juice, which was again separated by the tube additive... I gave it a good shake... and, voila, I'm a genius. I created a purulent fluid resembling sputum.

In another, was a mixture of squid sauce and soy-sauce (giving it a lovely brown). In yet another, was the good old fashioned tomato sauce, mixed with some water.

I would have LOVED to take a picture of the containers for your entertainment, but unfortunately as soon as I'd done all this and put the items back, my mum's car drove in the driveway. I quickly put them all into a small plastic dish, and pushed it into the fridge, behind the capsicums. I will take a picture later, maybe, after mum goes to sleep.

I really hope she discovers it when I'm not at home - then, her imagination will run REALLY wild, she will be totally disgusted, but she won't be able to question me. Being a dutiful mother, she will assume that it is something work-related, so she won't throw it away. In fact her imagination will run so wild, she will imagine all sorts of disgusting things, and she won't be able to even TOUCH it. That is the evil dilemma I have placed my mother in - she will be disgusted to the core, but unable to do anything about it.

But now I have a problem. Say if she found it when I'm at home... what explanation should I offer? It should undoubtedly involve something to do with bacteria, or parasites. But why would the specimen be in MY fridge, rather than in the hospital? I need an explanation that is plausible, not too far-fetched, but never the less disgusting. And, if possible, I would like to convince her to keep it in the fridge for at least a month.

Any suggestions? Please help! Comments welcome.

My first youtube clip

yes that is me...