I just finished my psychiatry term, my final psychiatry exam is tomorrow... therefore I should be cramming (and indeed I will continue cramming in a minute). But, here are some quotable quotes... watch this space, more will be added when I have time.
Patient: "You know, our planet is already destroyed, we are not living on Earth at the moment, we are living in the Australia planet. Earth was destroyed when the Germans put a nuclear bomb under the South pole."
Sida: "The bastards!"
Patient: "I'm part German, you know..."
Sida: "Oh, I'm sorry."
Patient: "Yes, I'm part German, part alien."
Patient (to Sida): "Excuse me, excuse me, can I buy some sushi off you?"
Patient (to an Asian psychiatrist): "Your tablets are turning me into a woman. Australians are not easily fooled, doctor!"
Sida: "Do you have any special abilities? Like, are you unique and different from everyone else in any way?"
Patient: "Well... do you trust me?"
Sida: "Uh... uh... yeah?"
Patient (stands up): "Stand up and I'll show you!"
Sida: "Uh, no thanks, no thanks!"
Patient: "Yes, I've been diagnosed with heaps of things. Schizophrenia... Bipolar... Psychosis... Mania... Crazy... Looney... Fruit-cake..."
Psychiatrist A: "In spite of the nature of our work, I don't think I've ever heard of a psychiatrist being killed by one of their patients."
Psychiatrist B: "Wasn't there a case in Perth a few years back?"
Psychiatrist A: "Well, the killer was another psychiatrist. Does that still count?" I'm thinking... get me out of here!
Patient: "No, I don't take drugs."
Nurse: "So, if I took your urine sample to the lab for a urine drug test, I wouldn't find anything?"
Patient: "Weelll... You will probably find it's positive for cannabis. But I can explain that..."
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Hey again Sida! I'm on study week before final exams and just realised I was on your blog during study week of last semester's exams and just finished reading your comment reply lol.... and I still remember Pasteurella multocida - the bacteria from cat and dog bite infections mwahahah.
I'm in 4th year next year (if Pathology is kind to me) and start wards but don't feel nowhere near ready to be grilled by doctors! Hehe at you PTH story. I was reading earlier today about hypercalcemic states (in gall stone formation) and hyperparathyroidism was one of the causes lol I think this procrastination session was productive too! Good luck with the rest of your rounds :)
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