Why I can't be a paediatrician

There was a time, for a while, when I thought I was interested in paediatrics. Of course, this was before my actual term in paediatrics.

I thought paeds might be good for me, because as a radiographer I was good at working with children and always enjoyed the extra challenge. Plus, I wanted to keep my scope fairly general, I'm not really interested in specialising in something in a very small area. (I've since learnt, of course, that babies are very small, and specialising in something like neonatology essentially means specialising in an entire creature that weighs less than my lap-dog.)

My preconceived ideas of good with children was thrown out the window when I was asked to see a 2 year old child with sudden "inability to walk" - her mother suspects the child's legs are weak, but of course there is no way to get the child to tell you that. How do you do a neurological examination on a toddler? The child was in no mood to cooperate, was in no mood to allow me to test the power of her legs, and of course went into hysterics when she saw me approach with the tendon hammer to check her reflexes. My brave smile, my praises and coaxes, my flattering speech about the pretty butterflies on her dress, all fell on deaf ears. (Actually she was screaming so much I doubt she heard me.) In the end, I picked her up, watched her then run back to her mother, and then proceeded to report to the doctors that the child's lower limb power was "grossly normal" since she could run. Give me an irate adult that I can reason with, any day.

I think, though, the biggest problem with paeds is that I have a real soft spot for kids. I think they are all cute and beautiful and little balls of potential and hope and germs... and I really can't stand it when I see kids sick. I'm starting to get better about it now, but at the begining, even reading about paediatric diseases used to make me feel sad. I'd be reading a condition, like spina bifida, and I'd think... aww, poor baby, you poor thing. Then I'd have to tell myself to snap out of it. You can't be an objective doctor if you even feel emotionally sorry for the "hypothetical" kid with spina bifida.

The worst is the kids who are in hospital because of "social" issues - the ones who have been neglected and malnourished and abused. I don't particularly feel like writing a lot about them at this time... suffice to say, the thought of these children keep me awake at night. They deserve a blog post of their own. Perhaps, at the end of the rotation, when I have more time and when I've gotten a few glasses of red into me, I'll wax lyrical about them.

The paediatricians are all great. Lovely people, compassionate, and passionate about what they do. Of all the doctors that I have seen, I think the paediatricians have been the least cynical and the least tendency to be flippant or facetious. But, less than a month into the rotation, I already know paediatrics is not for me.

Oh yeah, my last rotation was obstetrics and gynaecology.

O&G is definately not for me, either. And the less said about it the better.