On maturity

Recently, a good friend asked me, across MSN: "Sida, when will we ever mature?" This question was asked during the time that I was cramming for my exam and I knew she was busy doing some gigantic assignment. My thoughts ran thus:

1. Soo sleeppyyy... whyyyy is she asking this me now? at this time? How on earth did she come up with this?
2. Hey! What did she mean, when will "WE" mature!
3. Lord, help me to answer my friend's question with Your wisdom, help me to address my friend's concerns
4. Hey! Why did you only remember the Lord at thought number 3? Are you loosing it?!

By thought four, I had sufficiently awoken myself to attempt a serious conversation with my friend. We considered what "maturity" meant to us, and discovered that our thoughts ran more or less along similar lines. Neither of us were capable of a succinct definition but we could both point out to characteristics of maturity in others, that we knew we lacked. She pointed out to her friends, who were capable of great self-discipline despite working long hours, and who seemed to be capable of working with an attitude of good cheer. I thought of some of my fellow Christians, who seemed to be able to take all difficulty in a matter-of-fact, uncomplaining sort of way, always trusting God. You never hear them complaining about anything. Our discussion ended with a consensus that we both had no idea. I think I said something about not knowing when I will mature but trusting God to use me all the same (this sounded very good, but says nothing about my own impatience with myself). Being a non-Christian and also being distracted with a gigantic assignment, she replied with something along the lines of: "mmmmmm".

Now that I have had time to think, if we were to look for the characteristics of a mature person, one need not look further than the good Lord Himself. One thing that struck me the most is Matthew 14:12-14, which describes Jesus's actions after hearing the death of John the Baptist. "When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick." The actual number of the crowd was five thousand, besides women and children (Matthew 14:21).

I can imagine how I would feel, in that situation: my friend has been killed brutally, I wanted to retire to somewhere quiet to pray and mourn... and there's the crowd again, five thousand this time... same as usual - with all sorts of infirmities, pushing forward, each wanting attention, each wanting to just grab at my robe. I can not say what I would have done, but I can imagine myself complaining, even if just privately to my friends. This is the maturity that I lack: the matter-of-fact way that I see my friends go through their daily lives, balancing work with ministry with family, and yet never complaining and always trusting in the Lord.

A few days after I'd decided to reprimand for my lack of maturity, I was reading Habakkuk when I realised that it less about "never complaining" and more about "always trusting". Habakkuk 1:3 says: Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.

In fact, I can remember several other instances of 'complaints' in the bible, from the biblical greats: - Moses, Jeremiah, David in countless psalms, Job, Elijah, Jonah... and I'm sure that those who are more theologically minded can think of others too. What is important to note, though, that in all these prophets who made 'complaints', they ended up trusting God nevertheless a few verses down the track. I guess Christian maturity is more about trust and faith than anything else.

Trust and faith - so simple. This whole blog entry comes down to simply trust and faith. But as I progress in my pilgrimage (so to speak), I encounter trials that test these simple things, such that I want to cry louder than all the prophets (and the lamenters from Lamentations) put together. I guess it's heartening to know that it is OK to do that, as long as (to quote from the bible, Lamentations 3:24) I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."