what I did this morning

I have done most of the things I had intended to do today, and the things that I have not done (sigh) I have decided to be worthy of procrastination. So here I am, blogging.

This morning, I went to pick up one of our pastors from the airport, at the request his family, who were unfortunately unable to greet him themselves. The entire thing was rather uneventful - we came, we picked up, we left. (By we, I meant me, and the pastor's 16-year-old son, who accompanied me.)

The reason I am blogging about it (apart from the fact that I am bored), is that speaking to this man reminded me of what C. S. Lewis called 'people who have their eyes set firmly upon heaven.' Indeed this man has his eyes and heart set firmly up there. I don't know him well, he only comes to Australia once in a while to preach to our church... he usually lives in Taiwan where he is the pastor of another church.

Upon leaving the airport, I said: "And there's the traffic again..." to which this pastor quickly said: "If there is lots of traffic, it means the economy is booming, and the government will soon build new roads. It's a blessed thing, if you look at it that way. Imagine if the streets were empty - we'd never get new roads..." I was very surprised by this postulation - this level of optimism can only be from the truly blessed (after all, we get traffic jams everyday without road upgrades in sight). I declined to suggest that if the streets were empty we'd never need new roads, and kept driving.

We were coming down Hale street, approaching Coronation Drive, when he suddenly asked me: "Sida, what is your role in spreading the Gospel to China?" ... There was a silence as I tried to think of what to say very quickly. At the same time, I knew the 16 year old beside me was suddenly rather embarrassed and was also thinking of what to say. Finally, we both spoke.

"Dad, she is only young..." said the 16 year old, 4 years younger than me.
"Um. I am not sure..." said I. "I don't think I am considering returning to China anytime soon. If at all."
"Ahaha," he laughed nervously, aware that he'd put me on the spot. There was a silence. "The Gospel need to be preached in China," he said, finally.
"Of course" said I.

Upon more questioning, it was revealed that he is heavily involved with evangelical efforts in China, their organisation has trained recently some 200 Chinese men and women who were able to spread the Word in China. These operations had to be done in secret, for fear of persecution (reminds me a little of movies..). In fact, a finishing-school had recently been built that churns out preachers... a sort of seminary, which of course is not called a seminary, not officially anyhow. He told me that he envisions China to one day have so many Christians that it would be able send missionaries elsewhere. "The British and the Americans have had their turn - this is now the century of the Chinese."

This sort of vision... well, it has all the characteristics of the vision that starts off great things. It is vast, grandiose, ambitious, and sufficiently unlikely for it to be scoffed at. This is the sort of visions that says to all other visions: "pfffft, you? you're not a vision, I'm a vision! You're a daydream!"

The topic was not pursued further, but I felt very guilty for not having shared in that vision. I guess my future plans involve working in medical aid with a missionary movement in third-world countries, but it did not occur to me to mention this - and I am glad. My plans, even now, sound flimsy and superficial.

Why do I not like the idea of working and spreading the Gospel in China? Why do I prefer the idea of Cambodia or India or Africa? I guess, for one thing, it's the prospect of exoticness - after all, I've been to China, I know what China is like. The other thing I think is the language barrier. I left China when I was 9, so I have the communication skills (in Chinese) of a 9-year-old. Well, perhaps a little better than that... but not much better. I have enough problems explaining my faith in English, the thought of using Chinese gives me headaches. In Cambodia, if you can't speak the local language, it is an inconvenience. In China, if you can speak the local language and yet the locals have no idea what you are on about - then you are an imbecile.

On the other hand, I can speak Chinese, and I can read about 80% of the written word (with my finger under the line and with a great deal of concentration). Perhaps that is where I ought to go. In the end, God will show me where I fit in His plan.

I just hope it doesn't involve China.