Exam Finished

Yep, she's finally through. Feels sooo good.

Yesterday, I made sure that I left the room early to avoid the rush (and avoid talking to people afterwards about the exam). I got on the next bus into the city and called my friend out for lunch / debrief. I hadn't actually planned on shopping the entire afternoon, but both of us were having fun, and I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts. So I shopped from about 12:30 til 5, when the shops closed. At the end we were so exhausted I was talking gibberish (which I had been doing for the past few days anyway) and was actually feeling physically faint.

Back home, a quick dinner with my family, and off to bible study. Sounds kinda... sedate... for a post-exam celebration doesn't it? Haha... But I wouldn't have it any other way. Well I couldn't have anyway, I nearly fell asleep several times toward the beginning as it were. At bible study I played on the host's wii and regurgitated my vague memories of learning to play the guitar (I can still play a few chords! I can't believe it).

But all good things come to an end, and though I may run around and occupy myself with idle things, I must face myself sooner or later. My room is still a mess; my study notes nauseate me but I must tidy them. As soon as I stop moving my mind goes back to the exam.

Never before in my life had mental effort translated to such physical pain. By the end of the three-hour exam yesterday, my back was in pain from arching across my wobbly table, my shoulders, neck, and right arm were screaming after having been unconsciously tensed for 3 hours. I was starting to feel very hungry, and my eyes were starting to see double as I churned out that ridiculous ethics essay. My head was the most difficult to ignore, I felt like my head was in a vice. (Of course, then I went to the city and shopped for 5 hours, after which my thighs and calves and feet were also starting a rally.)

As I think back to the exam I don't even know how much sense my essay made, or how funny my responses to those depression/suicide questions must seem to the exam marker. Blissfully, that's all the detail I remember from the exam. God is indeed kind to me.

I'm slightly surprised. I have confronted my memories of the exam and found that I actually have no recollection of what was on the exam or what I wrote. Oh, good. Now I can move on.

My notes still nauseate me. But they must go into into retirement.