Psalm 13

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and everyday have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will day, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.

I don't really know what I have been going through in the past few days. All I recall is the darkness in my room when I try to tap into God the great source of light. You can probably see, from the things I have been writing about... all this talk about wrestling (with whom, exactly, was I wrestling?) and about turning away etc. Then I decided to see what David wrote during his dark times, and I found Psalm 13.

Psalm 13 fits into my past few days like the missing puzzle piece. Yes, I called to the Lord, and He did not come down in a great flood of light, nor like blazing fire from the heavens. I wrestled with my thoughts, God knows I wrestle with them all day long. And who is my enemy? It is the one who accuses me and mocks me daily. I don't know if it is my own thoughts, or if it is the one mentioned in the bible as The Accuser, Satan.

And yet, David has the solution. Trust in His unfailing love, rejoice in His salvation. Sing. No matter what I go through, Jesus has already saved me. Jesus has already given the greatest gift of all; His love will never fail. All I need to do is to keep my eyes on the Cross, steadfastly fixed on what has already been given to me - the victory in Jesus Christ.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9 - That was one of my favourite verses; how did I manage to forget it this time round? (Actually, I didn't forget, it just didn't provide comfort, for some reason. Maybe it is being used too much, like a cliche.) Jesus already gave us the greatest gift, the greatest blessing - Himself, in the Holy Spirit. Doesn't this prove that no matter what trials I go through, His grace and blessings will always exceed what I put up with?