On service

I know I said before I was going to limit the amount of religious stuff I put on here, but I just thought I'd share my experiences from this Sunday.

I was due to be 'usher' this Sunday, and it was the first time I'd been rostered to do any jobs. (I guess the number of things a new member can be trusted with is limited. The number of things I trust myself to do is limited...) So basically, I was to sit at a table at the entrance, smile nicely at people, and hand to them our weekly service program. If there are new people then I give them a little form that asks for their name and contact details. So I asked my bible study leader how early I should go, and I was thinking about half an hour early, so 9.30am. He said 9am. I was surprised, but I went along at 9.

So there I was, at 9am, sitting at the little table at the front. This position gave me a unique view of the service, because I was behind everyone, behind the chairs, so that I felt like I wasn't really part of the congregation at all. At 9, the place was already abuzz. The chairs were already set up (we use a primary school hall), as were the speakers and sound system, the OHP, and the tables outside for sharing the food. My bible study leader was at the piano, others were practicing their songs, or making last minute touches to the powerpoint slide. People were outside, too, doing what I'm not sure. Everyone was about, busying about something. (Yes, and there I was, sitting at my little spot behind the desk, observing, but not lending a hand).

By the time the actual service started at 10am, there were actually not many people walking through the doors. And I realised that most people were actually already here, part of the bustling workers. A few more families did walk through the door, but that was it. Well over half the congregation were there before the service to help prepare.

At this time I realised the meaning of the word service. This is service. Serving each other, and in doing so, serving God. Actually I knew it before, because I had read it in books, but this is the first time I actually witnessed it. From my position at the desk, it was like a movie where I was disconnected from it all and seeing it as an outsider.

These people give away literally their entire weekend. What kind of young person gives away their entire weekend? I knew that my bible study leader got to church at 8, 2 hours ahead of time. By the looks of it, so did a whole bunch of other people. It's their life, literally. No wonder Christianity strikes fear in my dad's heart. Indeed, what if his daughter left her studies? What if his daughter did the same as the others, when will she find time to study? What if she decides to throw it all away? For something that, to him, is worthless since it gives neither monetary gains nor promises to give monetary gains, at least in this life.

I guess now it's time to express how the experience has affected me. I realised that, as much as I do participate in the church, much of the time I am being served rather than serving. I feel as if this experience should have taught me to serve more, but how? To do what? And after all that, I still don't know how I fit into that picture, the picture of the people bustling about. (To be clear, bustling doesn't come naturally to me. Standing there wondering what I should do comes naturally.). So I'm probably back at where I was before, which is to do whatever I am told to do.